This whole freedom thing has taught me a bit. More than anything I've learnt that I waste allot of energy trying to understand EVERYTHING even the unexplainable such as, and specifically relating to the freedom posts, emotion. I will now learn not to do this as it leads to scary realisations!
People kept asking 'arent you jealous?', to be honest at first I didn't understand why I should have, but didn't think much of it, but as more and more people asked I would ask back 'why should I be?'. Obviously there is trust there. But as always as in this situation I was the one that was thinking differently from the majority and so questions if I was jealous or not. After many hours across this past week I have sat and I have thought. At one point I came up with, maybe somewhere in my head I want it to go wrong so I have an easy way out. That lead onto me pondering why I would want to be single again. Also I thought a bit on how I would no if it went wrong, obviously I would more than likely find out through the vine and all that, but me being me this would not be good enough, and I have even sat and thought on what give aways there would be in the behaviour. At this point I decided to give up and not do this anymore. I have just now realised I'm still doing it, so I'm going to get off topic.
People kept asking 'arent you jealous?', to be honest at first I didn't understand why I should have, but didn't think much of it, but as more and more people asked I would ask back 'why should I be?'. Obviously there is trust there. But as always as in this situation I was the one that was thinking differently from the majority and so questions if I was jealous or not. After many hours across this past week I have sat and I have thought. At one point I came up with, maybe somewhere in my head I want it to go wrong so I have an easy way out. That lead onto me pondering why I would want to be single again. Also I thought a bit on how I would no if it went wrong, obviously I would more than likely find out through the vine and all that, but me being me this would not be good enough, and I have even sat and thought on what give aways there would be in the behaviour. At this point I decided to give up and not do this anymore. I have just now realised I'm still doing it, so I'm going to get off topic.
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