Gone are the days of sitting with no one around for hours, and enjoying it.... Or so it seems anyway. I don't know what's happened! I can remember, as if only yesterday, sitting around in my room at mothers, for hours sometimes days without seeing anyone (Could always hear people, but with 8+ people under one roof), and that was the last time I can remember being happy without something or someone directly causing me to be happy.
It may be down to the fact that I haven't had an opportunity to jam by myself for years and I'm just out of practice. Or it may be that I've become weak and now need the company of others, hopefully its the first!!
Now when the topic of leisure time comes up in conversation, people seem to find it strange that a male in his early 20's prefers nothing than to be alone, I can appreciate it sounds sad, but people tend to annoy me, and anyone who knows me can confirm, if something annoys me, I tend to rant until it annoys everyone around me too! So why do people get upset if I don't take the invitation to a drink up in town or some ones house? All anybody ever wants to do is get drunk anyway, and I'm not the biggest drinker! If I was 30+ no one would bat an eye at the fact I don't like drinking, but being in your 20's and turning it down makes you odd!!?? !!WTF IS THAT!!
Read !!DUMB FUCKERS!! if you haven't already and you'll understand a little better Atlas, why I don't like the drinking hype that it seems YOU MUST be part of if your young, !!ITS JUST BORING!!
It only seems IM unsociable because IM never invited to anything that doesn't include getting blind drunk! Not only do I not see why this is enjoyable, but its a health risk at the best of times, and IM diabetic so cant drink heavily often anyway, so Id prefer to save it for worth while occasions. Plus if I don't become a 'drinker' its always going to be cheaper to get to that blind drunk stage people seem to love so much. So maybe this is why I don't 'socialize' very often, and prefer my own company.
This came to my attention after speaking to a colleague today who found it strange that I have only (from memory) 'been out' with my girlfriend twice in the almost 4 or 5 (I think) years we've been together. She wouldn't change that almost shocked/surprised expression on her face no matter how much I explained why. To me the following reason are more than enough to justify having completely separate 'social life's;
She, like most other females, loves attention from males.
I can appreciate why, I wasn't always a hermit, I have been a very popular lad when I was naive, and understand that attention from the opposite sex makes you feel good. But lapping up this attention in front of you partner makes them feel far worse than you feel good. I can state this as I have been on both sides of this argument on several occasions. This can then start an alpha male situation, where two males compete for the respective females attention. As most guys tend to be simple goons this usually means violence, or trying to out drink each other. Whatever the competition, it ALWAYS causes bad vibes.
Slag Swag
To put it simply, slag swag is 8/10 girls out on a Friday or weekend night. Heavy make up (yes it is heavy), clothes that are normally seen on slags during the week, which is quite funny as most girls bitch about what these type of girls look like..... UNLESS its a Friday as its probably one of their friends..... lol. Basically they look like, what I would call an easy target. Which attracts male attention (see first reason), but the wrong type of male, but when in slag swag mode there is no such thing as a dude whose just after a quick press. For some reason girls in this state seem to think, all guys are genuine, but the same chick will see through the image during the week if they where approached by the same person.
Other personal reasons
There are a few other reasons but these relate specifically to our relationship, and no..... IM not going to trap myself by stating these here..... you know, just in case.
With things like Facebook, it seems people have forgotten what socializing is anyway. From my observations, people who do the 'Friday night' thing, if it cant be put on Facebook if doesn't count as socializing!!
People these days idea of fun is what is portrayed as fun, not necessarily what is fun to them.
How can you tell if people genuinely like you, if you don't even know who you really are? Spend some time to yourself, find the person you really are, then go out and I think you understand what I mean. And if you think this last statement is some hippy mystical shit, you need to also find yourself.
...... and breath.
